Staying at home is not for the faint of heart!
Welcome to my blog! My name is Angela Ladner. I am a stay at home mom to my beautiful daughter Sophia and wonderful husband Aaron. Now that all the formalities are over, let's get down to business. Staying at home can be a double edge sword, especially for those that used to work. I was a psychiatric nurse for 5 years prior to getting married. I dreamed while I was working of being able to stay at home. I wouldn't change anything...don't get me wrong. The guys I know in my life like to think all i do is browse facebook and instagram and take naps. Haha!
What people in our shoes don't realize is that yes, maybe we get a nap sometimes or browse our phone; but we also cook, clean, raise little heathens into human beings, and are the foundations and unwavering pillars for our soulmates. We never get a break! It is as if we are on call 24/7. We get lonely because we may not go out and socialize every day! Our single friends either think we are busy and never want to hang out or else they want to come over daily and eat you out of house and home! But let me be one of many to say that we love interaction. We love our babies too; but talking to someone equivalent to a little caveman may not quite cut it long term. We would love a phone call or a how are you. We want you to make over our kids! We also need adult time. It is so easy to judge and assume things about each other. We may not be the most cheerful or reach out to you the fastest because maybe we had to get up several times in the night, or dont have the time or the will to feed ourselves food but instead focus on our children. Sometimes we sacrifice too much for the sake of our offspring. What do you guys do to 'stay normal' with kids?
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and opinions on this topic. I had a coworker a couple years ago insinuate very much the same about my life. He scoffed, “so basically you get to just hang out all day and game and wait for Nate to get home from work.” I was insulted but just laughed it off and said he was wrong and then let it alone. Those who know, know right? Most days I’m exhausted, confused, lonely and ready for the end of the day, only to wake up and start the long process all over again. I saw how this kind of life effected my mom while growing up and I never thought it looked easy but I for sure understand ALOT more now. This odd stigma around stay at home moms is unfortunate and usually I pause before telling people “what I do” for a living because I brace myself for the comments and assumptions. It only lends to the feeling of isolation for me, but what can you do? As you said, we are indeed the pillars and foundation. It’s a lot more responsibility than people give us credit for. And yet I’ve also noticed that people have extremely high expectations for how a mother conducts herself. It seems no matter what we do, someone will always find fault in it.
ReplyDeleteAs for what we do for normalcy...lol we are honestly still trying to figure that part out! We make do with what we have and try to make the best of it. When the girls go to bed we try to focus on things we actually like to do, interests that we can’t tend to while the girls are awake and running around. Sometimes I’ll paint, sometimes we’ll watch a movie together or game together. Other times we try to allow for the other to get out in the evenings for a breath of fresh air and some time to just have for ourself while the other stays home with the kids. We try to reach out to people to come by and have dinner or play card and board games... it depends on what we feel up to and how the girls are behaving. Idk, there small somethings but hopefully they’ll make a big something one day!
Btw this is Bridget Dugas (Harris now lol) didn’t wanna alarm you, this isn’t a total stranger ;)
yes i definitely understand, but i am sure this issue is even worse the more kids you have because each one makes you more and more want to just stay home. For me it is a semi laid back life but it is a life that never gets a break ! It is really wears on you because you can never completely relax! It starts to become a daily struggle to weigh the pros and cons of going out of the house. I had to just recently try and realize that it is okay for me to go out without baby. That she will be okay and I will be better and even more equipped to give my all. Yes single guys seem to be the worst about their assumptions of your daily tasks! Thank you so much for reading! Love the human interaction haha ;)
DeleteYes and yes! I remember that being difficult when amica was a baby. She being my first, it was really hard to leave and feel ok about that. But it is so good to remember self care as a mom! You need to take care of yourself a bit in order to better take care of your babies. Agree completely. :)
DeleteI really enjoy your posts! Thank you for sharing!